Out of Control!!!

One of the things about me that alot of people notice is that I am a spontaneous being. You never know what I am going to do next.
About a week ago, my friend Ayla and I decided to go to Toys-R-us just for fun. I really wanted a good color set though, so we looked around for that for a little bit. Another friend of mine, Sam, heard that we were going to Toys-R-us for fun. So she asked me to get her this super ball; it's a ball that can bounce really high, believe me when I say, REALLY high. Ayla and I looked around for that too, but I am pretty sure the employee's in the store were regretting the fact that they had shown us where they were.
In the aisle that the ball was in was a huge aisle of a whole bunch of different kinds of bouncy balls. Ayla and I became six again. We took those balls and just bounced them every where we could. We grew tired of this and moved on to trying to find my color set again. It took us like ten minutes in that store just to find that amazing color set(it has like 200 peices in it, soooo cool.) After taking forever to find this color set, we were quite ancy. We wanted something fun to do. So we went around and found differnt things to, like take pictures of one another doing obnoxious things.
Then we went back to the bouncy balls. We both hit the lights like three different times (I kinda ran the first time it happened) and were bouncing the balls over the shelves and aisles. At this point we were out of control, but it was one of the best times I have had in forever.
As we were leaving the store I had boughten two more bags (those environmentally safe ones) and so much candy. So when we were heading back home, and I was driving, we were so hyper; screaming at the top of our lungs while trying to sing songs off of the radio, throwing things out of my car at eachother. Oh man, that day was out of control.


xoxo
Edward Brandon

Analogy #1

In life we have things thrown at us that may hurt or may not even phase us, but they all have a meaning to them. Will you learn from these things thrown at us and use it to your advantage, or will you let yourself keep getting hurt?


xoxo
Edward Brandon

What's With the Suspision?

Ok, I have a small problem that I HAVE to write out. I notice that out in the world there is so much negativity. For some people, they hold on to that negativity and let it get them down. For me, I like to counteract that negativity with as much positivity as possible. I see that as a good aspect of my nature. I don't know why it wouldn't be. But there is one thing. I have randomly had people in the public or even some of my aquaintances of my daily life, come up to me and ask "are you okay?" Now I don't know if this is because I have this spontanious attitude all of the time, that whenever some thing pops into my head, I will find the best time to act that out (if, of coarse, it is appropriate).
I had someone, a while back, tell me they asked me this because they thought that I was covering up some emotions. In my head at the time, I was thinking "why can't a person simply just be happy without question."
So I thought about what they had said a little bit longer just to analyze it, and I came up with this. If I was in a bad situation that I did not want a sole to know about, yes, I would cover up my emotions with happiness. But I wasn't going through any ordeals at the time, and neither am I now. Yes, a few bumps here and there, some bigger than others, but nothing I haven't been able to overcome in a small amount of time.
But I still have that question lingering in my head "why can't a person be simply happy?"



xoxo
Edward Brandon

Tough as Balls

So one thing that alot of people that approach me in life or become either a friend or an aquaintance with me, realize as they get to know me that I am a crazy, spontaneous, happy, outgoing person ready to meet anyone who walks my way. One thing that a person had asked me a while ago was, "do you ever cry?" Now at first I thought, of coarse I do, but then I noticed that it had been so long since a tear has crossed my face. I thought at first that this was a good thing, then realizing what some of the... "tragities" to put it in that sense, I have gone through, started to notice how sad this is. I thought how can I go through so much of lifes ordeals that only a few select people have to go through all there life, and not have one emotion for it. I must be tough as balls. Crazy right?
Through the past couple of weeks I have been loaded with stressful things such as graduation, friendship ending, drama that do my best not to be in, and so much more. Normally I can run through all of this like a field of daisies, but this time, with EVERYTHING that had gone on, I caved. While walking up to the office to be able to go speak to the school counselor, I just broke out. Now one of my biggest fears is letting other people see my emotions, whether it is anger or sadness. So I ran out the door and into the football field to walk a couple of laps around the track. Doing this calmed me down and helped me release so much of the stress and negativity that had been running through my life in the past couple of weeks. Now I am fine. Still a little bit stress. Who would be in my position. I have graduation in almost less than a week, and I have so much to do. Oh well. Just like everything else, I will stay positive and get through it.



xoxo
Edward Brandon

Abnormal

One thing I have been feeling lately, is that wherever I go, there is at least one major thing that separates me from the bunch. For the place I live, it's me being gay, rather than straight. Almost every person in this small town is straight and I have yet to meet any other gays in this little mud puddle of the Earth.
For the city where I do have other homosexual friends, it's my morals that separate me from the bunch. It seems like everyone out there is just ready and willing to "fuck" any person that walks by. Now this isn't for all of the other gay people I have met, but it is, however, for the majority.
My morals are far different from these people. Growing up in a small town around religious and traditional people helped me to gain these morals. My view on life is that you should always save the sex for when it really matters, not just to have your orgasm for the day. Not my style.
I feel like when you do give yourself up too soon then the person that you are crushing looses that respect for you. Therefore you lose that person emotionally. They begin to stop really paying attention to your needs, and seem to wander around a little bit. They stop wanting to get to know you, and, in a way, start ignoring you.
All in all, in my opinion, it is better to wait to do the nasty. You gain more respect for what you deserve.



xoxo
Edward Brandon

Listen to This.

So there is this song that I will always call my "favorite". I just can't get enough of listening to it. The song is called "Daylight" by Matt and Kim. The song is so happy and, I guess careless in a sense. Not to sound conceited, but it reminds me of myself on some terms. The whole attitude of the song and the energy that comes from it. And every time that I get down or start to have a smug attitude, I listen to this song, because it always reminds me of the way I WANT to live, and how I want to be.

Part of the lyrics is, " and in the daylight I don't pick up my phone because anywhere feels like home". I just love that. I could go on and on about this song, but I won't. And I will suggest to anyone who runs into me in life, to not ask me about this song, because, believe me, you won't really even have a chance to speak.


xoxo
Edward Brandon

Flower Man.

I remember when I was just a young toddler. I was always outside doing something. Like playing in mud, swinging on the swingset, or beating at the bryer bushes across the field to make a fort or a little hut. But one of the things that I remember the most, is the flowers. I was always interested in a new flower or wanting to pick them to make a bouquet. I loved the colors and leaves and so many different aspects of them. I always fell in love with a flower no matter what it looked like.

So one of my most vivid memories of flowers is...

One day I was wandering around the back yard, looking for any flower that would bloom. I saw the little daisies in the grass, you know, the ones that are barely and inch tall, but I didn't know what I could possibly do with them. So I proceeded to look for flowers. I found some flowers that look a little like wood hyacinths but I couldn't get to them because they were in an ants nest. So I kept looking. I ended up wandering to the front yard. What I see is my sister, doing something with those little daisies in the grass. So I walk up to her and I show her the flowers that I had found. She said, "you look like you are going to be a flower man one of these days".

I say "nuh uh. flowers are for girls"

She said "well guys can play with flowers too"

I say "what are you doing with those daisies"

She said "making a necklace"

"how?" I asked.

"you'll find out" she answered.

She finished working on the necklace and gave it to me. "since you're going to be a flower man someday" she said.

I am now 18 years old and tomarrow I have a competition for floraculture. Making arrangements, identifying flowers and so on. Oh, how right my sister was.