Road to Success?

In my life I have had to go through so many challanges. None that I believe that were to big for me to take, and I have taken them all; I have had to overcome the gigantic hill of coming out as a homosexual being, jump throught the loops of the everyday high school stresses, and deal with what I consider to be ungreatful parents, all while trying to stay sain.

Yesterday I had gotten fed up with the constant nagging of my mother. It wasn't just the nagging that I was tired of, it was the negativity directed towards me and the badgering of my friends. I don't really care to deal with people of this sort or even put up with them. In my mind these types of people are unstatisfied with there lives so they end up going around to other people, like myself, to point out unnessesary problems that the person may have in their life. This is very wrong to do.

I understand that a mother should be worried about her child, but when the child isn't doing wrong and is asking and begging and telling the mother to stop, the mother should stop, no questions asked. All the mother is doing by going forward with the nagging and bitching is putting more stress on the child, possibly causing the child to leave the household.

When a child is so unhappy with the living quarters that they are given that they have to leave, that shows you that there is something deeply wrong with where they are living. Whether it be stress, drugs, or violence.

In my mind a mother should love there child unconditionally and not try to tell there child that they aren't giving enough back to the parent. That is selfish and unbearable.

I have written this all on a personal experience. Yesterday as I was fighting with my mother about the constant nagging that she brings to my life, I had decided to leave the house. No car, 30 dollars in my pocket, and almost no where to go. I hear so many success stories about how a guy moved to a new town with ten dollars in his pocket and became a massive billionaire. I figure that if I play cards right in this life, I will be as success full if not more than those guys. I believe that although I am homeless at the moment, that I am on the road to success.

Beautiful

About a month ago I had my former dance coach ask if I would design the next seasons State costume. I took this offer as fast as I could and here are the designs for next years competition.

Memories

I have in my room a bowl. I call it my memory bowl. I have to admit I started this bowl only about a year ago, but I have to say it is really filling up fast. In my memory bowl are things that make me happy when I think of them. For example, one of the things in my bowl is an entry ticket for a haunted house that I had gone to with two of my best friends and one of their boyfriends. It was a fun time for me, and also the first haunted house that I had ever been in.

My memory bowl has nothing negative in it. Only the things that when I look at them make me smile or laugh. I figure that it picks me up as a teddy bear would make a small child smile. I figure that if I can have that in my life, then I have no reason to worry about every being down. If I can have a bowl with either shells or notes that a person has written to me, I should be happy 90% of my life. The other 10% I would be extatic.

I have wondered, "what will happen when this bowl starts to overflow?" Thinking about that, I started thinking about solutions to this wonder; throw away some of these memories, put some of the memories in a drawer and keep the rest out. The conclusion that I have come to is... get a bigger bowl. None of these memories are worth being thrown away or put on the backburner. All of these memories are precious and very close to my heart. I could never think about throwing these away.

Some of the memories in this bowl are all ingredients to one big memory. For instance, Out Door School this last October was a huge mile stone for me. If I had forgotten Out Door School, I would have forgotten some things that I had learned about myself. You may be wondering "what things do you have in that bowl that could remind you of Out Door School?" All of the notes I had recieved from my co-counselors. This is what one of my favorites says,

"I ment it when I said you were 1 of the coolest ppl I know. <3>

This note had made me do something that normally don't do, cry. I was so happy to hear someone say that. I have had people tell me that I am good at one thing or the other, but to hear that I was one of the coolest people to someone, meant the world to me.

Reading these things or even looking at them makes me smile. If I can have these in my life forever, then there should no reason for me to be down longer than two seconds.

xoxo

EdwardBrandon

Fashionista of a Sort

I am so into fashion, as you may be able to tell through a couple of my earlier posts. As much into fashion as, I am always open to trying new things on, no matter what gender the garment was designed for. Every now and then I just have this urge to put on the opposite sex's clothes. I haven't fully made up myself as woman yet, but I have put on some pretty amazing things. The picture at the top of this blog is just one of the many things that I have tried on.

I like to out with friends all of the time, as I feel they like to go out with me. Every now and then I get these vibes that things aren't really going well; there are constant periods of silence, or people start to argue and get tense, so one of the things that I resort to is trying to make everyone start to laugh. Like, if I am on a shopping date with my girls, I will try on dresses, or heels or things of that sort, and do my little strut that I have shortly turned into my staple. Usually that will start to loosen people up or get them to giggle. That brings a joy into my life.

Shopping is one of my favorite things to do. One little piece of advise for the others out there like me, don't ever go into a store looking for something specific. Always go into a store being optimistic to the things you may run into, try them on, and see if you like them or not. If you go into a store looking for something specific, you will never find it. That is always something that made me sad. Going into a store "knowing" that the one thing that I wanted was going to be there, and then finding out that it was sold to the person that was right in front of me in line. So horrible.

xoxo

EdwardBrandon

Busy little Bees

One of my dreams is to get my name out there to where people want to know who I am, to want to see the things that I do. One of the things that I would love for my futur is to have a HUGE piece of property. Not to show people that I am rich, but to just use it for going on some random walk in a medow or in a forest of trees. I have always loved the wilderness. I love see what different things it can create and show off.

Right now I live in this small town called Mill City. There are so many field every where. In one of these fields there is a type of wild flower that covers one of the fields. There are so many of these flowers in the field that the entire field turns to a light purple. It is so beautiful to see when it happens.

So as I was walking by this field the other day, I notice a low humming sound. I stop for a minute to realize that there is a small area near where I was standing, with those boxes that they use to keep honey bee's in. Instead of panicing and running away like a frantic idiot, I decided to get a little closer. Not too close, but close enough to where I could see the individual bees go in and out of the boxes. The humming of the bees was so relaxing to me that I stood there watching them for a good five minutes (for people who know me, they know five minutes standing and not talking is a long time).

I was so amazed with such a simple thing, that I have decided to try to make a line based off of the colors and textures from the flowers in the field and the sound and movements of the bees. How I have been inspired like this, I couldn't answer that for you, but I can tell you that I will be posting my progress of the ideas that I am generating. I am going to call the line "Busy Little Bees". So be watching for titles on my blogs of that sort.

xoxo

EdwardBrandon

Peachy Painter

I have recently made a painting and had entered it into a competition that I had won first place and grande prize in. This painting is a gift that just keeps on giving it seems. I have also applied for a small scholarship of $250. Because of this painting I am recieving that scholarship. I love this. I have been working on my artistic skills ever since I was a youngn'. For the most part of this year, those skills have payed off.

In the past I have done many other things than just painting; I have drawn cartoons, made a sadistic poster (you wouldn't laugh, I was a freshman when I did that. a weird time for me. lol), I have made posters for the school, done a little photography, was on dance and cheer. Anything that I could have done that has to do with art I have done it. This summer I am debating on taking a small class that will better my skills in illustration. That is my desire for right now. I have been wanting to make my drawings a little more detailed, so that the people who look at them can understand them more.

My drawings lately have been either of fashion or of a collage of different things. One that I have made, and am very proud of, had everthing that I could think of as being something happy. The theme was "happy is..."

My fashion drawings have something different about them. I like to have a sense of badass but also with elegance in my lines that I design. I believe that everyone in this world, in some way, has a bit of bi-polar disorder. When I say that I mean that they have one side that they show, and then a whole complete opposite side. All in all, one side is very different from the other. I love that. I love that people have different opposites about them. Also I have some of my inspirations from plants; like banana trees, or the color of a flower or leaf, or the shape of a plant. All of these things I love.

My art, in all, is very important to me. Whether it is music or metal art, fashion or dance, I love it all. Noone can take my art from me.